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My experience of psych drugs while struggling with mental illness, a story of hope.
I’ll preface this by saying I have lived a crazy life and seen a lot I probably shouldn’t have from a young age. I’m 19 right now but have been in the workforce since I was 16, I left school at 16 and went straight into work. All I wanted in life was pleasure and comfort and I only had my own intentions and feelings in mind. I learnt how to manipulate to gain control and power over other people unconsciously,it would come out in my actions mostly apposed to words. I learned very quickly that bad words and put downs make people bitter and causes them to alienate you, I was pretty indifferent to not only others emotions but also my own. So I adapted and became more discreet with my manipulation, just the right words, right tone and facial expressions to get what I want. I was in covert narcissism to avoid detection and as I am pretty introverted but it didn’t work on the playground. I never saw the point in school while I was there and whilst I was in school I was there physically but I was never present mentally, I was in my own world perfectly constructed by me, my happy place because the real world didn’t make any sense to me and I felt rejected from being bullied about my weight and appearance and a range of other factors, this gave me a feeling of indifferent to others. If you’re not relevant to my life, I don’t care about you kind of attitude. Not a healthy outlook by any means. This lead me down the path of anxiety and depression and to cope I started stealing marijuana off my father at 11-16 smoking almost daily only after 2 weeks, and he never even noticed (or so I thought) but after talking to him about it recently he said he knew after a certain point but did not care simply because he had oz’s of the stuff pretty consistently (yeah right you didn’t care, tell that to your passive aggressiveness). After some introspection I’ve come to learn my father is also narcissistic and is probably the reason why I lived with him (parents split right after my birth), I chose to live that life and stay in that environment when I had a mother who had a much happier and healthy living environment and loves me infinitely more. I chose pleasure and comfort over growth, I see that now.
In my lifetime I’ve smoked way too much cigarettes, weed, done downers, uppers, struggled with sexual deviance, addiction to power and status, even cellphones. All of it is a trap. It takes time and mental resources from you for short term gratification that will only hurt you in the long run.
In the last year I’ve had 3 acid trips and one really bad MDMA(cut with amphetamine and god knows what else) psychosis. My first trip turned out to be one big psychotic episode with me screaming down the house “too many questions” and throwing shit at walls. long story short my flat mates at the time had to call an ambulance on me cause they’d thought maybe I was on meth and could turn violent towards them. This was at 2 am on a weekday. Basically I (a beginner to psychedelics) even after doing my research, thought it would be a good idea to throw down two 150ug tabs, pen and paper ask myself some questions about life and existence. Oh and I was also smoking copious amounts of marijuana and vaping some high nic juice so was already out of it before I even started tripping. I ended up being hospitalised where I exposed myself to staff and patients running around “furiously masterbating” just as well the police got called, I got put in a cell overnight then was psychologically evaluated by a councillor few weeks later. Basically just manipulated him and made myself out as a stupid kid who made a stupid mistake, had genuine remorse and would NOT. do it again.
Second trip was a little better (better in the sense i didn’t end up in hospital and jail again) I had a friend to trip with this time. My plan was I got him to drive us very far out of town just in case it happened again, didn’t tell him of course.(what a shitty thing to do, right?) Basically how that trip turned out was me blacking out and preaching about existence and how life is a rat race and we’re all working to just to serve the 1% of the population, blah blah blah crazy nonsense, and then I exposed myself to him and told my friend to suck it and that I was God himself and disobeying my orders would prove devastating to his development in life and it was a sin to disobey god. Just as well he’s not as crazy as me, just a little but not to my extent. He seemed to enjoy his trip overall even though I did freak him out in the moment, he just kind of brushed it off I guess and gave me a bowl to smoke then drove me home when we were off peak. Laughed the whole experience off later and agreed what happens in the trip, stays in the trip.
Now this is where it gets into recent times. First trip was maybe just over a year ago, second 6 months ago and here we have my “MDMA” experience from early September. I live away from my hometown and had this guy I knew from high school ask to stay a couple nights cause he couldn’t afford a motel and didn’t want to sleep in his car. I said yes, I thought I was being a good guy but I really just wanted to see what I could get out of him. Little did I know he was also trying to get something out of me. He mentioned some more friends from said hometown were here and were looking to buy some MDMA and asked if I’d go halves on a gram with him. I said yes. They arrive with this stuff at almost 12pm (keep in mind I had work the next day at 8am) didn’t look anything like MDMA to me. It was kind of a dark purple rock, if I had to guess was probably xtc pills re rocked and cut with amphetamine. Thinking in the moment I just said “fuck it, well they’re already here with the shit. May aswell do it now” I had god knows how much of the stuff. I just cut off a big rock, swallowed it and also had 3 big lines. Everyone else only had 1-2 medium lines but my inner feeling for importance took over and I had to take more just to prove I was the perceived “alpha”. I had already been manifesting the idea that I was a full blown corporate psychopath and I could escape the rat race and start making real money if I just applied myself. Everyone went out to the lounge and I stayed in my room just thinking. All of a sudden one of the girls runs into my room saying “I don’t think this is normal stuff, this doesn’t feel right” this made me very uneasy as I literally had the most. But I brushed it off to her “we’ll be fine, just think pretty thoughts and the Molly will do the rest” this worked for the meantime, or so I thought. I lost my perception of time and was very very dissociative for the next hour or so. People did come to check on me every so often, give me water and what not and I did appreciate that alot, but my ego had other intentions. Eventually I got to talking with another dude I knew that was over, and he told me we’d all done crack and it was the first dudes idea and he was scheming on me, he got me up and took me to the lounge, I didn’t want anyone to see me in that state in the first place. I played it off but very very grandiosely and just admitted to the room I was the psychopath and that I could see through all of them like a crystal ball, mostly heard this from people after the experience but keep in mind I was disconnected with reality and I don’t actually remember much of the experience after I left my room. This is where is gets really scary. I then proceeded to give him this wide eye look and just ran at him and started attacking him. I easily could have ruined my life this night and I’m ever so grateful to be here typing these sentences in a comfortable place and not in a prison cell counting how many ants are running across the floor. The others were able to pull me off him, I punched him in the face a few times first then tried to choke so they had time and numbers in people on their side. I then felt like I was dying and actually did start dying. I was losing conscience and my heart stopped beating and 911 got called. They done CPR on me and I was able to start breathing again and the lady on the phone told everyone what to do before they arrived. Keep in mind almost everyone there was also on the same shit so it was just chaos and eventually the tweakers ran off. I was left with me, my best friend that I live with and 2 of our girl friends. They were just drunk, my best friend is also narcissistic and we’re very honest with each other so he understood what was going on and just had a laugh with me. Unresponsive but I was looking from the 3rd person perspective having a laugh aswell. The ambulance arrived with police, they started ripping the house apart looking for drugs. Probably thought it was a trap house since it was already a mess as I was in the process of moving. Just as well the tweakers all ran off and nobody else snitched. I ended up getting taken to the hospital for a couple more hours then came too in the waiting room, I just walked out, called my friend and got picked up 10 minutes later. I regret looking back not thanking the doctors or anything now, genuinely. This gave me a little more respect for life itself.
My third trip was last weekend. After some heavy sober introspection on my life and where I could end up, let me tell you. I’m starting to see all of the mistakes I have made in life and the path I’ve taken that lead me here, and that I can escape. This is not the life I wanted at all, I’m a simple man at heart and just want to be happy. I’m now in the process of making some positive change and I see the true nature of where this all comes from. Drugs have dictated my life up until this point, I was numb to my emotions and I cried like a baby on this trip as I was confronted with the consequences of my actions through the lense of pain & suffering. The guy I attacked? He has to live his whole life carrying the weight of that experience. It’s not even his fault either, it’s the drugs, and very likely also triggered by trauma to do the drugs. Me? I slang on the side for the money and the things money can buy. But also it gave me easy access to the drugs and other users I saw as pawns I could exploit, being greedy, being grandiose. Thinking of myself and not thinking that these customers are actually dead inside and I’m selling false hope in most drugs. The trade off is a damaged mind and a disconnect from reality that this world doesn’t need. I just went deep into the forest with food, water, my phone, and a tab. Set and setting is very important for a trip and if anything this is not only to raise awareness for mental health. But if you’re gonna do drugs, don’t be dumb like me. Listen to your heart or that inner voice that stands for change, listen to facts and then fact check the facts you believe to be true . Seek truth in finding yourself. This is only the start for me and it’s not gonna be easy but I’m gonna pull myself out of this and I have only the people around me to thank, LSD showed me that people do care and look out for me, it’s just that I ignore and suppress it. LSD can only show you the path, but it’s up to you to put in the work and start the journey.
Congratulations, you made it to the end of the story, what a shit show huh? It’s okay though, we all make mistakes in life and the first step into making change is self-acceptance. Spread love and good vibes and the universe will pay you back dividends infinity higher in value than anything your pain will bring you. Happiness is a mindset that can be cultivated by first solving where it comes from and submitting to your emotions. Question the negative thoughts and emotions and never be afraid to reach out for help. Submitting yourself to addiction is the path of least resistance and it will feel good short term. But it’s going to come at a cost, if you have any questions feel free to ask. If not, enjoy the rest of your day and stay healthy and blessed ❤️💯
Maps of Meaning Challenge: The Test of Truth [Day 87 of 109]
I just wanted to provide you with an update to what has been going since my last post on Day 50 of the challenge.
The day after my last post, it struck me that I was asking others to do something I had not yet done which was to contact Dr. Peterson's lawyer. I figured it was only appropriate for me to be willing to do what I was asking others to do so I determined to contact Mr. S (his lawyer) myself.
My objective was to do my best to either coerce or entice Dr. Peterson to engage with me. So on day 53 I sent Mr. S a quick email asking him to pass a message on to Dr. Peterson for me. I then waited for three days before sending a follow up email, on Day 56, in which I was a bit more forceful. I then waited an entire week before sending a final email. This final email was meant on Day 63 to confront Mr. S and Mr K (Dr. Peterson's business partner) in the event that he was acting unilaterally without "bothering" Dr. Peterson. In this final email I mention the "miracle" that I discussed on Day 50.
On Day 64, the day after the final email to Mr. S, I heard the update concerning Dr. Peterson's health issues in relations to his addiction to the prescription medications he was on. This news struck me hard. I spent some time considering this information in the context of what I'd just finished doing. The obvious and immediate implication was that I realized that circumstances had most likely rendered my actions ineffective.
As I continued to consider this news something else came to mind. What came to mind is a verse from Exodus 4:
And it came to pass on the way, at the encampment, that the Lord met him and sought to kill him. (verse 24)This verse is one of the strangest verses in the Old Testament. What makes it so strange is it's context. This context starts at the beginning of chapter 3. That's where Moses has his encounter with the burning bush. A dialogue ensue between Moses and God where God tells Moses he's to go down to deliver the Israelites from captivity and lead them to the promised land. God tells Moses what will happen and then counters all of Moses' excuses for not wanting to go along with the plan. After all of this "negotiating" Moses sets out for Egypt do do as God has instructed him and the very next thing we read is that God meats up with him with the intention of killing him.
Peterson's brushes with death reminded me of this scene. In the end, Moses is saved by the actions of Zipporah his wife.
But Zipporah took a flint knife, cut off her son’s foreskin and touched Moses’ feet with it. “Surely you are a bridegroom of blood to me,” she said.This is extremely strange if you don't understand that circumcision was symbolic representation of the recognition that God had chosen. There's much that can be said about this but the important point is that Moses was acting in error. Call this intrapsychic error. Moses was in error and he was blind to his error. And, were it not for outside intervention by his wife, he would have remained in error.
So the Lord let him alone. (At that time she said “bridegroom of blood,” referring to circumcision.)
On considering this verse and its significance I decided that I should act with Dr. Peterson as Zipporah had with Moses. I decided to throw his error down at his feet, openly for all to see.
So I've taken an ad out in a Toronto newspaper that reads:
Jordan B Peterson's Dark Side Revealed Discover the dark secret that Maps of Meaning: The Architecture of Belief reveals about its author [http://JBPExposed.online/](http://JBPExposed.online/)I've included the content of the emails, with personal information removed, below.
In the following:
- I'm A. Believer
- Mr. S is Dr. Peterson's lawyer
- Mr. K is Dr. Peterson's business partner
From: A. Believer
Date: Tue, Jan 28, 2020 at 12:15 PM
Subject: Fwd: I would like to purchase a signed copy of Dr. Peterson's 12 Rules
To: Mr. S
Dear Mr. S,
I have been informed by Mr. K, Dr. Jordan B Peterson's business partner that you are to act as the official intermediary between myself and Dr. Peterson (see email chain below for details.) As such I would like you to pass the following message on to Dr. Peterson for me and let me know his reply.
Allow me to be clear and precise. I AM the Revolutionary Hero AND I can prove it.
I'm offering you the opportunity to rethink your answer to the final pen of light question, the one you forgot in 12 Rules for Life: "What shall I do with the stranger who comes claiming to be the Revolutionary Hero?"
How will you treat me? Will you listen to the lie, to fear’s statement telling you, "That could not really be the case."? Will you act arrogantly, presuming to know whether my claim is important or not? Will you demonstrate that you do not really believe in the revolutionary hero as a possible type of anomaly that can manifest in reality? Will you shrink from an opportunity to explore this rarest of the forms of anomaly by simply denying the very possibility?
As it stands right now, you've already answered the question, "What shall I do with the stranger who comes claiming to be the Revolutionary Hero?" The answer sounds something like this:
- I will deny the very possibility of the revolutionary hero.
- I will judge and criticize him by the means that he employs without bothering to ask what his ends are.
- I will do this knowing full well that the revolutionary hero should appear contaminated.
- I will not ask whether his ends might be good and noble but assume that they are not.
- I will absolutely and repeatedly refuse to engage with him.
- I will turn him away.
- I will threaten him with legal action and drive him as far from me as possible.
Will you not explore at all? Will you not even ask, "What if he is the revolutionary hero?" "What if his ends are to return to the community?" Does that not shed a different light on the means employed? And, "What if he is the revolutionary hero and he fails because I turned him away?"
Are you prepared to bear the responsibility for the consequences of not exploring?
So, is this really your final answer?
I'm prepared to make it very easy for you to come out and explore. I've put together a summary that should be enough for you to answer the question of whether I warrant further exploration. It's about five thousand words in length so it shouldn't take you any more than about 20 minutes to explore. After you've read it, if you feel that this, that I, warrant no further exploration, you can simply let me know and I'll go away. The cost of exploring is 20 minutes of your time while the cost of a false negative, of failing to recognize the revolutionary hero may prove catastrophic as you've laid out clearly in Maps of Meaning.
If you choose to explore, if you agree to read what I've compiled and to confirm that you've read it by providing me with a clear statement to that effect along with an answer in regards to whether you want to engage with me further, let Mr. S know and I'll provide him with the summary.
P.S. I know it's been at least twenty years since you wrote the following so just in case you've forgotten:
The lie is fear’s statement: “That could not really be the case; that did not really happen.” The lie weakens the individual – who no longer extends the range of his competence by testing his subjectivity against the world – and drains his life of meaning.
Arrogant (“prideful”) individuals presume they know who and what is important.
Particular Forms of Anomaly: The Strange, the Stranger, the Strange Idea, and the Revolutionary Hero
~Jordan B Peterson - Maps of Meaning
From: A. Believer
Date: Fri, Jan 31, 2020 at 12:04 PM
Subject: Is your strategy to simply ignore me?
To: Mr. S
It's been three days now since I contacted you. It's beginning to appear that Dr. Peterson has decided to simply ignore me. While I realize that there may be a myriad of reasons for the delay, I thought I would take a moment to point out a few of things I learned from Maps of Meaning (Jordan Peterson's Bible for how to act rightly in the world):
1) When faced with an anomaly such as the one I represent, ignoring the anomaly is not an acceptable form of behavior.
“Not doing” is therefore the simplest and most common lie: the individual can just “not act,” “not investigate,” and the pitfalls of error will remain unmanifest – at least temporarily. This rejection of the process of creative exploration means lack of effortful update of procedural and declarative memory; means adaptation to the present, as if it still were the past; means refusal to think.2) Just in case Dr. Peterson thinks he can hide from me by saying something to the effect of, "Out of principle, he never engages with ..." I would like to point out that rigid adherence to such principles reveals an inability to set asside the principle when the anomaly shows up again, and again, which reveals an unwillingness to think and a rejection of the possibility of deviation:
~Jordan B Peterson - Maps of Meaning
The Devil is the spirit who underlies development of totalitarianism; the spirit who is characterized by rigid ideological belief (by the “predominance of the rational mind”), by reliance on the lie as a mode of adaptation (by refusal to admit to the existence of error, or to appreciate the necessity of deviance)3) The more often and the longer Dr. Peterson avoids me, the worse he looks in the light of Maps of Meaning. The longer he avoids me, the more obvious it becomes that he is afraid to face me or rather what I represent. The longer he avoids me, the clearer it becomes that he holds his first impression of me, his initial viewpoint as infallible, as if it must be absolutely true.
The liar can only pretend to embody what is best of the past, in consequence, because he cannot support or tolerate the presence of necessary deviance in the present.
~Jordan B Peterson - Maps of Meaning
The habitual act of avoidance – of rejection – weakens the personality...So, while I'm willing to wait a reasonable amount of time for Dr. Peterson's response, I will soon be forced to conclude that Dr. Peterson has either opted to act in accordance with the simplest and most common lie or that he has rejected the possibility of deviance by rigidly obeying a principle or past viewpoint.
The lie is easy, and rewarding, as it allows for the avoidance of anxiety – at least in the short term. In the long run, however, the lie has terrible consequences. The “avoidance or suppression” of novel or unexpected experience, which is the abstract equivalent of running away, transforms it perforce into determinate threat (is the categorical equivalent of labelling as threat). The domain of unprocessed novelty, defined prima facie by inaction and avoidance as “threat too intolerable to face,”...
Denial or avoidance of the unknown therefore concomitantly necessitates deification of a particular, previously established viewpoint.
~Jordan B Peterson - Maps of Meaning
As Dr. Peterson's lawyer, I would expect that you are a person of character. As such I would ask that you at least give me a clear, honest, and precise answer to the following two questions:
Have you provided or do you intend to provide Dr. Peterson the message I entrusted to you, for that purpose, in my previous email?Does he plan on providing an answer? He must either engage with me or turn me away one final time? If I haven't heard back from you in a week, I will be forced to conclude that he has chosen to passively turn me away, that he has chosen to deal with this anomaly by avoiding it altogether.
The iron is now set to strike the flint. The only question that remains is what will the light from that spark reveal about Dr. Peterson? Will it reveal that he is hiding in the darkness of avoidance or will it show that he, just in time, gathered the courage to admit his error and voluntarily came out to face this unexpected anomaly?
Emergence of the unexpected constitutes evidence for the incomplete nature of the story currently guiding such behavior – comprises evidence for error at the level of working description of current state, representation of desired future state, or conception of the means to transform the former into the latter.
Arrogance is belief in personal omniscience. Heroic humility, set against such arrogance, means recognition of constant personal error, conjoined with belief in the ability to transcend that error (to face the unknown, and to update fallible belief, in consequence).
~Jordan B Peteson - Maps of Meaning
Dr. Peterson would do well to consider the closing words in Maps of Meaning:
For nothing hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain without being uncovered.
Thank you again,
From: A. Believer
Date: Fri, Feb 7, 2020 at 12:05 PM
Subject: Is Dr. Peterson a prudent and wise man?
To: Mr. S
Cc: Mr. K
Bcc: Dr. Peterson (UoT email)
I trust you've noticed that I've CC'd Mr. K. I've done this in case you have been acting unilaterally with respect to the emails I sent last week.
As I mentioned in my last email, I have no intention of waiting indefinitely for Dr. Peterson to come around to doing what he knows to be the right thing in this situation. So it's time for me to apply a bit of leverage. As it stands right now, I can't tell whether Dr. Peterson has read my emails. It's quite likely that you have chosen not to "bother" him with this "nonsense". If you've unilaterally chosen not to engage with me or if you've "just been following orders to not engage with me" from Dr. Peterson, then this email is intended to make it very hard for you to avoid involving Dr. Peterson.
In essence, this email should discover the answer to the question "Is Jordan Peterson a prudent and wise man?". Of course, I can't determine this directly without knowing if he's reading what I've written. I can, however, derive the answer by answering a closely related question, "Has Jordan Peterson surrounded himself with prudent and wise men or merely intelligent fools?" If he's surrounded himself with intelligent fools then he himself cannot be prudent and wise.
The prudent see danger and take cover, but the simple keep going and suffer the consequences.
Proverbs 22:3 (Berean Study Bible)
One who is wise is cautious and turns away from evil, but a fool is reckless and careless.
Proverbs 14:16 (English Standard Version)
If Dr. Peterson has surrounded himself with prudent and wise men, then his lawyer and business partner should be able to recognize the very real threat that I pose and should want to prevent him from getting into what can only be described as a fight he can't possibly win.
If, on the other hand, his lawyer and business partner fail to recognize that I pose a very real threat and because of this they allow him to fall on his own sword then I will know that he has surrounded himself merely with intelligent fools. Only fools would do nothing to prevent him from being dragged into a fight that he is bound to lose. And why is he bound to lose? Well, because in this fight, Jordan Peterson will be seen to be both accuser and accused.
I'm sure that sounds a bit odd so please allow me to paint you a picture of the situation as I see it, the situation from my very unique perspective. Consider the following imagistic representation the situation Jordan Peterson currently finds himself in:
Imagine you see Jordan Peterson standing in an open field. In front of him, not much more than an arm's length away, stands a white horse and on that horse sits a man dressed entirely in white. Between them is a sword. The very tip of the sword is a fraction of an inch from Jordan Peterson's throat. Engraved on one side of the sword are the words "TRUTH IN WORD", on the other side, "TRUTH IN ACTION." The man on the horse isn't actually holding the sword but it is animated by his voice, by his words. The man is speaking to Dr. Peterson in a stern voice saying, "Yield or be run through!" By the tone of his voice you know he will not hesitate to strike him through if he refuses to yield.
This imagistic description is extremely accurate, though somewhat symbolic in its representation of the situation. I assure you that this is what Jordan Peterson is currently facing though he himself remains blind to the fact.
I'm sure you doubt the validity of this "vision" so allow me to interpret it for you so that you can see it in real life. The threat, the danger, is very real even if it isn't, in any way, physical harm that threatens him.
To understand the threat you must first understand the different elements of the vision.
Let's start with the horse and his rider. The horse is white and the man sitting on the horse is dressed in white to represent righteousness. That is to say that the man's actions and words are right and true and just. The man is sitting on a horse while Jordan Peterson stands on the ground. This signifies that the rider is on higher moral "ground" than Dr. Peterson. In the moral domain, or the Kingdom of God as Dr. Peterson likes to call it, this indicates that the man on the horse has moral authority over Dr. Peterson. Or, to put it in terms that Dr. Peterson might use, in the moral domain, within the moral competence hierarchy, the man on the horse has a higher position than the man on the ground. This higher position in the moral competence hierarchy indicates greater moral authority. And so, the man on the horse has the authority to demand that Jordan Peterson yield.
In case you haven't guessed it yet, I AM the man on the horse. And how is it that I stand on higher moral ground than Jordan Peterson? That's simple but to understand this you need to know a bit more about the sword.
So let's turn our attention to the sword that "stands" between Dr. Peterson and myself. This sword, positioned at Dr. Peterson's throat, this sword that is poised to strike at any moment, this sword is the Sword of Truth. This sword is also the Sword of Justice which currently serves as a witness and judge. At the moment it is a witness to the accusation, the charge that I bring against him. It is also judge and it has already found him guilty of the charge I'm accusing him of. And so, this sword will soon become executioner if Jordan Peterson refuses to yield.
In case you haven't guessed it yet, the sword is Dr. Peterson's first book, Maps of Meaning.
Take a closer look at the sword. Dr. Peterson spent 15 years crafting this sword. That is, for 15 years he forged, fashioned and tempered it. It's a magnificent achievement, the work of a master craftsman, a beauty to behold, a double-edged sword, similar in almost every respect to the one he unknowingly fashioned it after. And, like the original, when placed in skillful hands, "It is able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart." (Hebrews 4:12)
I've been exploring, testing, examining this sword for about nine months now. With it I have found where Dr. Peterson's actions do not align with his words, the words captured in Maps of Meaning. And this is the accusation that I bring against him. He has detailed the rules of right behavior in his book but now, with respect to how he has responded to me, he has broken those rules. As a result, he has voluntarily stepped off of the moral high ground and down into disobedience of the rules that he himself so meticulously laid out.
I don't know if Dr. Peterson ever imagined that someone might come around, pick up this sword he's created, and become proficient enough with it to leverage it against him. Nevertheless, Dr. Peterson has placed this sword, this magnificent sword, in my hands and now I call it to judge between the two of us. And it listens to my voice because my actions and words are aligned with it, my words and actions accord with it. This sword stands between us ready to discern the truth and fully prepared to strike down the one who is not exhibiting both "TRUTH IN WORD" and "TRUTH IN ACTION." And, as much as you may not believe this, it is Jordan Peterson and not me who is in danger of being struck down.
Let me explain it to you this way. Maps of Meaning is a description of the "process that, if enacted, could bring about the establishment of peace on earth". In it Dr. Peterson draws a clear line between right and wrong in the moral domain. So imagine just how happy Dr. Peterson's enemies will be to learn what Maps of Meaning reveals about its author, Jordan B Peterson.
I came to Dr. Peterson, a stranger claiming to be The Revolutionary Hero. He drove me away with threats and went to hide behind the law in order to avoid me entirely. By these actions Jordan Peterson has acted and continues to act "against the rules" of Maps of Meaning. As a result, Maps of Meaning reveals the following about its author:
- Maps of Meaning reveals that Dr. Peterson has consciously, repeatedly rejected that "process that, if enacted, could bring about the establishment of peace on earth". How has he done this? He has shrunk from and continues to shrink from his responsibility to explore the anomaly God has placed before him, the anomaly that cries out saying "I AM The Revolutionary Hero."
- Maps of Meaning reveals that Dr. Peterson has reached a conclusion about me without exploring. Instead of exploring, as is his moral duty, he has convinced himself that he is fully justified in turning away a stranger who comes claiming to be The Revolutionary Hero. This, knowing without exploring, is an act of "assumption of omniscience". In the moral domain, Maps of Meaning makes it clear that you can't render a judgment unless you have explored. He has failed to explore and so he cannot use an educated guess as an excuse to justify not exploring, no matter how educated the guess. There remains infinite possibility within this anomaly precisely because it is unexplored.
- In case the first two points aren't enough, let me provide an abbreviated list of the things that Maps of Meaning accuses Dr. Peterson of:
- Being a coward by not fulfilling his moral responsibility to explore the anomaly ("The “avoidance or suppression” of novel or unexpected experience, which is the abstract equivalent of running away" and "Rejection of moral truth allows for rationalization of cowardly, destructive, degenerate self-indulgence." and "The lie is fear’s statement: “That could not really be the case...")
- Being arrogant ("Arrogance is belief in personal omniscience.")
- Lacking true "Heroic humility"
- Being proud ("pride, which is the act of presuming omniscience")
- Not acting like a creative explorer ("presuming omniscience is reasonably construed as precisely opposite to the act of creative exploration")
- Being evil ("Evil is instead my presumption of personal omniscience" and "Evil is the process by which the significance of the anomaly is denied;")
- Siding with the Adversary ("The adversarial position, deceit, is predicated on the belief that the knowledge of the present is all necessary knowledge – is predicated on the belief that the unknown has finally been conquered. This belief is equivalent to denial of vulnerability, equivalent to the adoption of omniscience")
- Being a liar ("The liar cannot tolerate anomaly, because it provokes anxiety – and the liar does not believe that he can or should withstand anxiety.")
- Siding with the lie (" The lie is a matter of voluntary failure to explore, and to update." "The “avoidance or suppression” of novel or unexpected experience, which is the abstract equivalent of running away")
- Being the Devil ("The Devil is the spirit which endlessly denies, because it is afraid, in the final analysis, afraid and weak. It is lack of discrimination between the existence of the adversary as process with the existence of anomaly as constituent element of experience")
What's more, all of the above statements are correct and true statements about what Maps of Meaning reveals about Dr. Peterson. They have been true for nine months now, ever since he first turned me away, without exploring. All of these statements remain true today. In fact, all of these statements will continue to remain true until Jordan Peterson sets things right and explores the anomaly that he has been avoiding. All these things will remain true about him until he quits avoiding the anomaly and engages with it, until he engages with me. Maps of Meaning allows no other option.
The Sword of Truth demands agreement between word and action. This is reflected in the engraving on either side of the sword. In word, written and spoken, Dr. Peterson says he believes in the revolutionary hero. In action, however, he has denied and continues to deny the one who continues to come to him as The Revolutionary Hero. So, in action, he denies the very possibility of the existence of the cultural revolutionary hero, the very heart of Maps of Meaning. His actions contradict his words and the Sword is a witness to this.
"Things that are wrong must be set right" says Dr. Peterson. His words and actions must agree with each other. Therefore, he must either renounce his theory and the revolutionary hero or align his actions with his theory and come out and explore. He must choose which it will be because the Sword of Truth will not let him live in this contradiction quietly in the darkness of his shadow.
Perhaps you still don't see how this poses any real danger to Dr. Peterson. It's very likely that neither you nor Mr. K cares very much about Jordan Peterson's actions in avoiding me. You know him as a person and probably see his actions as right and just. But Maps of Meaning says otherwise. He knows it. I know it. And, soon, if he does nothing to prevent it, the public will know it as well.
This is where the threat becomes real. I've documented all of this online, including our previous email interactions. Now I'm prepared to take ads out in one or more Canadian newspapers. These ads would simply say something to the effect of "Do you know what Maps of Meaning has to say about its author, Jordan B Peterson? The answer may surprise you. Arrogant, evil, liar, just for starters." Oh, and of course, the ads will point to the online evidence supporting all of this.
So, answer me this. Once these ads start, how will Dr. Peterson defend himself? There will, no doubt, be some who would like nothing more than to use this information for wicked and destructive ends. What will he do then? He won't be able to defend himself, at least not without lying, because it's all true, it's all correctly interpreted from Maps of Meaning. I haven't twisted Dr. Peterson's words. I've used the true meaning of his words and his words condemn him.
This most recent email chain will, of course, be included with my online evidence. This email in itself clearly demonstrates how I've done everything I can to confront Jordan Peterson "privately", in the presence of two witnesses. And so, I will remain blameless when I go public with this regardless of the consequences that befall Dr. Peterson as a result. And I'm sure that there will be consequences.
Why am I sure there will be consequences?
I've listed the horrible things Maps of Meaning says are currently true about Dr. Peterson. But Maps of Meaning looks at anomalies in terms of their potential. Follow the train of thought in Maps of Meaning and you will be forced to conclude that reveals that, in potential, Jordan Peterson is currently the most evil person to have ever lived. Yes, in terms of the scale of potential consequences, even worse than Hitler, Stalin, and Mao combined.
Doubt this? It's easy enough to demonstrate.
Maps of Meaning clearly states that the survival of the culture, in this case, Western culture, Western civilization, depends on the success of the revolutionary hero. If I AM The Revolutionary Hero and I fail to return to the community because Dr. Peterson is my only way back and he failed to pay attention and drove me away, then his actions, which could have prevented the eventual collapse of the culture, will turn out to be what guaranteed this collapse. This potential consequence is on a scale so big that makes Hitler, Stalin and Mao look like schoolyard bullies by comparison. This is all potential of course but, at the very least, Maps of Meaning reveals that Jordan Peterson is content risking the survival of the collective by refusing to face the anomaly of the revolutionary hero. He is putting not just his future at risk but the futures of everyone in the group, all to avoid his moral duty to explore.
Unbelievable? Not if you've read Maps of Meaning and understand it.
Mr. S, do you want to know, for yourself, if I'm overstating the matter? You have access to Dr. Peterson. Ask him, point blank, if he denies the possibility of the cultural revolutionary hero embodied in an individual, in reality. Maps of Meaning stands or falls on this idea. If he denies the possibility then Maps of Meaning calls him the very Devil. But, of course, if he denies it then he also denies Maps of Meaning and, by doing this, renders it meaningless anyway. But if he can't deny it, then let him give you an account as to why has he not explored. But keep in mind, excuses and justifications for not exploring are not allowed in Maps of Meaning. That is, there is no justification for not exploring. Any justification, from the perspective of Maps of Meaning, is simply a lie.
Like I've said, I've documented all of this online and I'm now prepared to push it out into the light of day for the world to see. I'm prepared to act with no further warning. So the question is, is Jordan Peterson prudent and wise? Are those around him prudent and wise? He can prevent me from pushing this ugly truth into the public sphere and all it will cost him is twenty minutes of his time. Alternatively, he can force my hand and deal with the consequences that ensue which are bound to cost him a lot more than just twenty minutes of his time.
I know what a truly prudent and wise person would do.
So Mr. S, are you prudent? And what about you Mr. K? Can you see how the threat that I pose is very real? Can you see that Dr. Peterson is about to fall on his own sword? Are either of you wise enough to see that he would be better off yielding to me than avoiding me? The longer he avoids me the worse he looks in light of Maps of Meaning. If he opposes me he looks even worse in the light of Maps of Meaning. Do either of you truly have Dr. Peterson's best interest at heart? If so, you will not simply not act, simply do nothing, simply ignore me, because that would be the same as standing by and doing nothing while Dr. Peterson falls on his own sword.
Having said all of that, I'm left with a strong intuition that Dr. Peterson cannot, will not be coerced. I strongly suspect he would sooner fall on his sword, sooner act imprudently and unwisely, sooner disobey the rules he laid out in Maps of Meaning, sooner make an exception and not act in accordance with what he knows is right, than be coerced into doing anything, even if that thing is what he knows he ought to have done in the first place. So, while it is my intention to coerce Dr. Peterson into engaging with me, I don't intend to rely solely on force to get Dr. Peteson to do what's right.
So, let's change gears. Assuming Dr. Peterson cannot be coerced, let me ask a different question. Can Jordan Peterson be enticed to engage with me?
Then Jesus said to him, “Unless you people see signs and wonders, you will by no means believe.”In my email of Tuesday of last week, I mentioned being able to prove that I AM The Revolutionary Hero. If Dr. Peterson read that email he must have dismissed this as impossible. But what is impossible with men is possible with God. So God has given me a miracle to perform, a miracle tailor-made specifically for Jordan Peterson.
John 4:48 (New King James Version)
To be clear, this miracle isn't a standard miracle in the Biblical sense. No raising of the dead or healing of the sick for this miracle I'm afraid. But it is a miracle that Jordan Peterson will readily recognize as a miracle in that it entails accomplishing the impossible. Only this miracle doesn't require the suspension of reason in order to believe. In fact, quite the opposite is true. The longer reason observes and considers this miracle, the more it will be convinced.
As I said, this miracle is specifically for Dr. Peterson's eyes, his scrutiny if you will. It is able to stand up against his scrutiny and it will hold up under his scrutiny. That's part of the miracle.
Surely this should be a big enough carrot to entice Dr. Peterson to come out and explore? What more can he ask for? So, I wonder if Jordan Peterson can spare twenty minutes to witness a miracle, a miracle he will recognize as literally miraculous, a miracle that will hold up under his intense scrutiny, a miracle that will unite reason and faith and so make peace between this two warring opposites.
If he comes out from hiding behind the law, and gives me twenty minutes of his time, I'll perform this miracle for him. If he agrees that I've performed a true miracle then he will know and acknowledge that I AM The Revolutionary Hero. And if I AM The Revolutionary Hero, then the true miracle will have been the redemption of Jordan Peterson from his error. On the other hand, if I'm not the revolutionary hero, then, at the very least, Jordan Peterson's actions will once again be aligned with, be in agreement with, his words and the Sword of Accusation will return to its sheath.
If Jordan Peterson will neither be coerced nor enticed to engage with me then he fully deserves the consequences of this behavior, behavior that he has plainly and precisely described as wrong in Maps of Meaning.
That leaves the ball in your court gentlemen. Let's see if Jordan Peterson has surrounded himself with wise and prudent individuals or simply intelligent fools. Ignore me or oppose me at Dr. Peterson's expense, at Jordan Peterson's peril.
The capacity to maintain territorial position when challenged is therefore indicative of the degree to which intrapsychic state is integrated with regards to current motivation [which means, indicative of how “convinced” a given animal is that it can (should) hold its ground]. This integration constitutes power – charisma, in the human realm – made most evident in behavioral display. The certainty with which a position is held (whether it is a territorial position, dominance hierarchy niche, or abstract notion) – insofar as this can be inferred from observable behavior, such as “absence of fear” – constitutes a valid indication of the potential integrative potency of that position; constitutes an indication of how much the creature who is holding the position believes in the rightness (justice, goodness) of his or her stance. The integrative strength of beliefs of this type can be determined, accurately, through challenge (since the capacity to withstand challenge is dependent upon that strength). This means that the ability of those who hold an idea to withstand challenge without wavering constitutes one [non-empirical (?)] affective criteria for determination of the truth of that idea – or at least of its intrapsychic utility.
~Jordan B Peterson (Maps of Meaning)