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Post-war inquiry into Humanity’s unwillingness to reveal their warrior class, requested by the honorable Karkat and Chitiiri Pt. 1
Exercise term: WHITE NOISE
Description: Lowest state of readiness within the Terran Union. No hostiles exist that threaten the current military capabilities of fleets or planets.
Minimum armaments on all non-colonization fleets as per Unified Module Design (UMD). Dedicated military fleets (excluding capital weaponry) to be maintained at around 5% of total fleet capability, guarding crucial jump points in the Union.
Military fleets are to maintain a 20% system redundancy, at 50% personnel capacity. Personnel up to full fleet capacity will be assigned. These additional personnel are to report to their assigned fleet sector in case of DefCon increase.
Planetary defense installations are to maintain a 30% activation rate. Orbital defense installations are to maintain a 50% activation rate. For frontier colonies these become 50% and 80% respectively, assuming adequate military infrastructure is in place.
Capital weaponry is to be maintained in a non-active state in pre-selected sectors. All personnel assigned to capital weaponry will be housed in said pre-selected sectors and fulfill civilian roles as described in the Economic Morality of Peacetime Capital Weaponry manual (EMPCW).
- Excerpt from The Terran High Command Military Documents Collection
Treaty of Valhalla +20, 18:21,29 hours Standard Terran Time.
Rear Admiral Mid-Section Tatyana Lyudmilovna Voronina was rereading the list of targets she had been provided for the upcoming meeting. Although she looked relaxed, anyone watching closely could see an unmistakable predatory glee surrounding her.
Ambassador Kch’athak of the Chitiiri Technocratic Union and Ambassador Olloooleeal al Ollooooluuuel of the Karkat people. The two xenos responsible for her presence upon a Diplomatic Corp cruiser heading towards a meeting that will decide humanities interaction with every xenos species for quite some time. She thought back at the absurdity of it all when she was told that she, a lifetime soldier, would be representing humanity here, today.
Her thoughts were interrupted as the ship-wide intercom came to life:
“Two minutes to arrival. All quarters, prepare for FTL-disengagement.”
Tatyana secured her documents into the wall-mounted socket and strapped herself to her seat. She glanced back and saw her second putting his reading glasses into a protective case. He caught her eye and asked with a smirk:
“Learn anything new, or are you just trying to see if you can burn a whole in that paper with your stare?”
Ibrahim Bashir was a member of the External Branch of the Diplomatic Corp. He had been assigned as her liaison and second chair, a job he had performed admirably, sarcastically and admirably sarcastic these past few days. As he was a regular second chair during military panels and the like they'd met a few times before. She'd always much preferred him over some of his more... distinguished colleagues.
“No and in a way,” she replied “seeing as I was not provided with an actual picture or even a description of my opponents, a piece of paper with their names on it is the closest I’m going to get if I want to practice my death stare. Was there a reason why I was given no audiovisual material?”
“Ma’am, with all due respect, if there is one thing about you that doesn’t need anymore practice it’s you death stare.”
She smiled as the voice on the intercom started counting down:
“Exiting hyperspace in 5… 4… 3… 2… 1...”
The TSS Diplomati dropped out of hyperspace, shuddering randomly as it did. While not violent enough to hurt individuals on board, provided they strapped themselves in properly, it was enough cause most small objects to take up skydiving as a hobby.
Outside a massive space station hovered silently in the void. A giant metal icosahedron that formed the beating heart of the Federation.
Ibrahim unbuckled and walked over to the other side of the room, where the windows where.
“There she is: the Conclave. Impressive feat of construction, don’t you think?
Tatyana looked at the angular black monstrosity floating through space and wondered how many preschoolers it would have taken to design the thing. It looked like someone had a bunch of leftover triangles, glued them together and threw the results into space.
“Yes, very impressive piece of architecture,” she lied. “You also haven’t answered my question yet.”
Ibrahim grinned at her and replied: “Ow there’s a very good reason you’ve not been shown any pictures or video’s. I’m surprised you haven’t figured it out yet.”
Tatyana raised an eyebrow in anticipation.
“Being that you’re a Rear Admiral Mid-Section and I’m just a humble Special Attaché whose pay grade is far too low for these kinds of questions.”
He was probably lying although she couldn’t exactly call him out on it. It was an open secret among the upper ranks of the Terran military that Special Attachés had a direct line to the Judicial Branch. They were usually assigned to diplomats who ran the risk of going off-road. Not that she would ever do that of course.
The ship-wide intercom once more came to life:
“Attention all passengers and crew, we have just dropped out of hyperspace outside Conclave station. We will be in orbit for the next 36 hours. Those with authorized leave requests, report to docking bays 11 to 15. Those without authorized leave, please report to your assigned cargo holds to receive adequate past-time recreational activities. Ambassadors, your shuttle has been prepared. At your earliest convenience, please report to docking bay 7.”
Ibrahim collected his possessions and said:
“I’m gonna go ahead and prepare the shuttle. It will be done in about ten minutes.”
Tatyana gave him a nod of approval and he started to make his way to docking bay 7.
Looking out over the Conclave, Tatyana let her mind wander for a bit.
First draft of a new entry into the Online Xenos Encyclopedia of Terra
[U]niversal Translation Sphere V1.0 WIP etc.
The universal Translation Sphere (UTS) is one of the most remarkable pieces of technology ever seen. It consists of a metallic sphere the size of a basketball with a number of smaller spheres the size of baseballs hovering around it. The number of smaller spheres varies depending on the number of individuals that are being translated. These spheres will hover near individuals that are in need of a translation. This seems to happen automatically.
Initial observations seems to suggest that the smaller spheres act as the microphones and speakers, while the bigger one does the translating. Unfortunately, there is as of yet no way of studying the inner workings of the UTS. The sole proprietors of this wondrous piece of technology are the Haltheon, who currently (preside over? Are presidents of? Rule?) the Interstellar Federation. Any attempts to obtain a UTS will be blocked by them and would in all likelihood bring the wrath of the Federation down upon the dumb s o b that tries.
The UTS is crucial to the proper functioning of the Federation. As the name implies it acts as a translation device. However, to call it a mere translation device would be bad or something, think of good words tomorrow. Rather than just translate the meaning of words that are spoken, the UTS actually analyses what is spoken as well as the context in which it is spoken. In addition, the Sphere can also pick up on slang, idioms and common sayings and translate them into a cultural equivalent for the listener while still keeping the messages original structure and content. The amount of computing power this would require goes far beyond what should be able to
This reads like a seduction attempt rewrite. Also sports balls are not an objective unit of measurement.
Note to self: further investigate the rumors that a sudden spike in volume don’t immediately get corrected properly a.k.a talking normally and then shouting would cause the shout to be volume boosted to 11. How does this thing translate crosscultural jokes, but can’t auto mute some shouting douche? Ask DipCorp Alice about this.
Treaty of Valhalla +20, 18:25,47 hours Standard Terran Time.
It was only slightly over three years ago, Tatyana mused, that the first signs of non-human intelligent life were detected. Sapient she heard the voice of her grandfather shout in the back of her mind. She smiled and thought of how he would react to all this mess. Ok, old man.
It was slightly over three years ago that the first signs non-human sapient life were detected by one of the newer colonies the Terran Union had established, a far off ice world appropriately named Valhalla. The following year was a flurry of construction, expansion and preparation. Specialists from all fields of study were dispatched to Valhalla.
Of course, when it turned out to be one of the worst case scenarios, the Xenos were hostile and part of an alliance with other Xenos, high command was about ready to enact doomsday protocols. Thankfully, all those months of preparation hadn’t been in vain and swift action allowed the human Diplomatic Corps to convince the other Xenos to stay at the sidelines, though apparently that hadn’t been all that difficult (their words). “More of an economic bloc than a single political entity,” was Aboiye’s description. Fucking Michael Aboiye. Who would have thought that Micky the Obo would guide us through our first Xenos war.
Tatyana closed her eyes and thought back to the moment the Terran Union ended the war.
And boy did we end it.
The first war with an Xenos race and the first ever use of an Exterminatus fleet.
A single sustained bombardment on Ak Garmarth, capital of the planet Garmarth, fourth most populous planet in the Marth Dominion. Hundreds of thousands of specialized canisters filled with a mix of liquid flame and some chemical or another she never bothered to learn the name of.
A chain reaction, splitting water molecules in the air into their constituent parts.
Hydrogen and oxygen.
The bombs would be more effective the higher the humidity, she’d been told.
Garmarth looked like the Amazonas if they were a planet.
The resulting inferno shone as bright as the sun. Within 4 km2 nothing survived. 37 million died in less than two hours, including most of the planets political elite.
The Dominion offered unconditional surrender not an hour after and humanity got a seat at the intergalactic table.
Hell of a first contact.
Excerpt of the transcript of an interview with a potential candidate for assignment 651-18.
.............................................................................This document is EYES ONLY...............................................................................
....................................................................................Glory to Humanity.........................................................................................
Interviewee: Rear Admiral Mid-Section Tatyana Lyudmilovna Voronina
Interviewer: Richard Basely, Diplomatic Corp - Assignment Verification Branch
Also present: - Ambassador Eva Molina, Diplomatic Corp
- Special Attaché Ibrahim Bashir, Diplomatic Corp - External Branch
- Admiral Algernon Beaumont
- Justiciar Prakoso, Central Terran Intelligence Chamber – Judicial Branch.
Richard: Welcome everyone. This is the interview with Rear Admiral Mid-Section Tatyana Lyudmilovna Voronina.She is currently being considered for diplomatic mission 651-18, details of which have been withheld on a need to know basis. Uhm, if everyone could identify themselves quickly, just names, ranks, relevant branches… I am Richard Basely, Assignment Verification branch of the Diplomatic Corp.
Tatyana: I am Rear Admiral Mid-section Tatyana Lyudmilovna Voronina, Terran Navy.
Eva: I’m Eva Molina, Ambassador with the Diplomatic Corp.
Ibrahim: Ibrahim Bashir, Special Attaché, DipCorp External Branch.
Algernon: Admiral Agernon Beaumont, Terran Navy.
Prakoso: Judiciar Prakoso, Judicial branch.
Richard: Quite an illustrious gathering, if I do say so. Uh, the way this usually works, we just call someone by their first names when addressing them in the interest of expediency, is that alright with everyone?
[All attendees are in agreement]
Richard: Fantastic. Uhm, Tatyana, I would first like to go over your file for a bit. RAMC Voronina, currently in command of the Rapid Response Force “Molniya”. Enlisted immediately after graduating Arkhangelsk Naval Academy at 23. Displayed natural leadership qualities and exemplary discipline under pressure. Was assigned to Rapid Response Force “Molniya”, under then Rear Admiral Low-Section Mikhail Ivanovich Fyodorov at age 24. Stayed with Task Force “Molniya” in spite of numerous offers and promotions for twenty years, going so far as to take command after Fyodorov’s retirement three years ago. Why were you so intent on staying with a Rapid Response Force, while you could have gotten a higher rank, increased benefits, more prestige elsewhere?
Tatyana: [laughing] With all due respect, if I wanted prestige and benefits I would have enlisted in the Terran Honor Guard, done the bare minimum service term, then retired at 35, spending the rest of my life basking in luxury in one of the upper spires.
Ibrahim, Richard and Eva: [Laughing]
Richard: Well, I suppose when you put it like that, but I’m still curious as to why-
Tatyana: Sir, if I may speak freely for a moment.
Richard: Uh, yeah, uhm, of course, feel free to speak freely at any time, this is a freely speaking zone after all. [laughing]
Tatyana: I am puzzled as to why I am here. As you just summarized I have been in the Navy my entire life. I am not, nor will I ever be, a diplomat. Although I don’t know the precise details of this assignment, it stands to reason that it would require a… delicate touch.
Ibrahim: Sir, if I may?
Richard: Yes, go ahead.
Ibrahim: Tatyana, you were present at the orbital bombardment of Ak Garmarth. You were also part of the post-war Ethics Inquiry. In your opinion, how would you place the events of that day in the wider context of the war.
Tatyana: I, uh, that is, what happened on Ak Garmarth…
Tatyana: What I saw on that footage was the single most horrifying thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life. I have been through every live-fire exercise the Terran Navy has to offer. If their was footage of a war on our history, I have seen it. Nothing you can imagine could ever come close to what I saw in that footage. If you ever have a chance to review it do not do so, unless you have no say in the matter. Outside of the Ethics Board that footage holds no value to anyone.
Having said that, I consider what happened an absolute necessity.
Ibrahim: How so? We were winning the war. It just seemed like pointless cruelty.
Tatyana: Yes, we were winning the war, but this wasn’t just about the war. We needed to show to every member of the Federation what would happen should they decide to act against the Terran Union. We needed to burn into their very souls the cost of going against us. You’ve read the XIC report. Unless we ended the war with overwhelming brutality and violence, unless we showed them exactly how far we were willing to go to protect ourselves, they would not have understood how different humanity was from every other race in the Federation.
Ibrahim: And that is why you are here.
Tatyana: I don’t.. follow.
Eva: She’s your pick. You have the honors.
Richard: Uhm, at this point documents containing information considered “classified” will be discussed. For anyone without the proper clearance the, uh, recording will end here.
End of recording.
Treaty of Valhalla +16, 05:13,31 hours Standard Terran Time.
Wolfgang Kaiser walked into the room. He was still wearing his regular work outfit, a charcoal grey three piece suit, which for every other person would function as formal, but to him felt far too casual for meetings like this. This wardrobe crisis did nothing to aid his mood, which was already soured by the rushed nature of this meeting, worsened still by the fact that he had committed a capital sin: he was late. He looked around, noting the few handful of notable individuals among the thirty-odd people present. He sat down at the large round table that dominated the room, followed quickly by the rest of those present. The space itself was drab and functional, with only a few plants in various corners offering much in the way of color.
“My apologies for being slightly later than planned, we had some last minute intel coming in, as per usual. Seeing as we are on a tight schedule and already behind it, I suggest we skip formalities and get straight to business.”
Murmurs of agreement arose around the room.
“Because of the impromptu nature of this meeting we were unable to secure nametags or signs or the like. If you happen to find yourself speaking, state you name and position so everyone knows who they need to stop ignoring. Case in point: Wolfgang Kaiser, Senior Supervisor of the Xenos Behavioural Unit, sub-branch of the Xenos Intelligence Chamber. As the highest in rank I will also be acting as the chairman of this meeting. So, let’s get to it: DipCorp, why are we here?
He looked towards on section of the table where an Asian woman in her late fifties with short, cropped hear wearing a long-skirted diplomats uniform stood up.
“Zhao Liu, Ambassador at Large, Conclave station. Approximately sixteen hours ago the combined diplomatic forces of the Chitiiri and Karkat have petitioned the Conclave to hold an expedient inquiry into humanity, specifying our continued refusal to publicly identify our so-called ‘warrior class’. In spite of our best efforts their Federation seniority combined with general fear towards humanity meant the request was quickly pushed through. The inquiry is scheduled four days from now at 19:10,00 STT.”
Wolfgang rubbed the bridge of his nose.
“Fantastic. So the purpose of this short session will be to determine the goal of this inquiry? What are the rats and the bugs planning and why?”
“Not quite. Briefly summarized: the Chitiiri Technocratic Union, the Karkat people and the Marth Dominion have had a three-way cold war going on for about a century now. With our overwhelming victory over the Marth, on the back of which we negotiated our entry into the Federation, the fear of the Chitiiri and Karkat is that we will continue to expand our influence over the rest of the Federation members. So far they are the only ones to have openly expressed this sentiment, but similar thoughts are going around within the diplomatic castes of the other species. It is no great leap in logic to suggest they seek our immediate expulsion from the Federation. Additionally, given the result of the war they may also seek some form of military supervision over humanity as ‘safeguard against hostilities’ or something of that description.”
“So your typical ‘we are scared so we don’t want you in our club house’-response. Since we already know this, why hasn’t the Diplomatic Corp selected an ambassador to fix this then?”
He leaned backwards and stared intently at Ambassador Zhao. She almost cracked a smile. He always had a fondness for theatrics.
“As you know, Senior Analyst Kaiser, for a while now the Diplomatic Corp and Xenos Intelligence Chamber have collaborated on research into the natural prey response found in the various species within the Federation. This research, combined with their remarkable societal structuring, has created several highly exploitable diplomatic avenues. We at the Diplomatic Corp believe that now is the time to utilize as many of these avenues as possible. This ‘inquiry’ is nothing less than a diplomatic act of war. They wish to isolate humanity from the galactic stage, out of base fear and ignorance, and that will not stand.”
“Like the war with the Marth, we did not start this and we have given them ample space to negotiate. Like the war with the Marth, our opponents feel they are superior to us and have refused. And thus, like the war with the Marth, we feel there is but one way to end this: with overwhelming force and aggression, to break the will of those that would stand against us and force them into submission.”
“We have gathered you here today to discuss a joint training program, utilizing the combined resources of the Diplomatic Corp and the XIC, to create, within four days, the diplomatic equivalent of an Exterminatus fleet.”
Selection of decrypted e-mails from the Xenos Intelligence Chamber’s servers regarding predatoprey responses in the Xenos species encountered.
Sender: Charlie Cox
To: Robin Molenaar
Subject: Orders from THE MAN
Attachment for you’s perusiality.
Upper command has suggested that, given the Xenos vastly different evolutionary path (check XIC doc “on the evolutionary differences, with regards to home world suitability for nurturing life” if you haven’t done so (which you deffo should have), their response to predacious stimuli should in theory be vastly and more amplified then ours. They’ve posited that, since in their evolutions they didn’t have the uphill battle that we had (humans are metal confirmed) they’ll have a significantly lower benchmark for labeling something “a threat”. Like, for them a wasp is an agent of satan (I mean they are, but that’s beside the point), while we don’t get out of bed for less than a hive. Ok, maybe not the best example but you get what I mean.
What they want from us: draw up a preliminary report detailing the various stress-responses typically seen in predators and prey here on earth. Rough outline, so don’t go deepdiving into the archives just yet.
We’ll meet tomorrow for coffee yeah?
Charles the weiner
Totally our homework and not a troyan dot exe.txts
Sender: Robin Molenaar
To: Charlie Cox
Cc: Yael Uzerli
Subject: Preliminary finding re: prey response found in Federation xenos by Diplomatic Corp stationed at the Conclave
Dear colleagues, before we begin: I’ve added Yael to this chain. She has previous experience mapping behavioral patterns in isolated prey animals and, given the initial findings we shall discuss, command felt she would be a valuable addition to the team.
On to today’s topic: initial anecdotal testing seems to support the theory that the xenos have a heightened fight-or-flight response compared to humans. Ordinary interaction that involve “predatory behavior”, i.e. speaking with a noticeable growl, showing teeth, prolonged eye contact etc. all provoke a noticeable response from every single species present with the exception of the Haltheon, who’s nature appears vastly different than all the species including humanity. They will be excluded from any further research in this field. See attachment for the full report.
To properly introduce ourselves I suggest we have lunch sometime this week. I would suggest this Wednesday, but if you have other suggestions do let us know.
Initial findings of the diplomatic Corp with regards to prey response of xenos present on the Conclave.txts
Sender: Yeal Uzerli
To: Robin Molenaar, Charlie Cox
Subject: Some more videos to help categorize specific species behavior
Some more video’s from the DipCorp people on the Conclave. This time we got the Findolein (the goat people), Karkat (hedgehog dungbeetles right?) and some more Chitiiri (steampunk rats).
Same deal as before? Three says of viewing, then link up and compare notes?
Findolein stress response 1-6.lxy
Karkat stress response 1-4.lxy
Chitiiri stress response 1-6.lxy
Sender: Charlie Cox
To: Robin Molenaar G, Yeal Uzerli
Subject: re:Some more videos to help categorize specific species behavior
Ok, is it just me or do some of these goat people look kinda hot? I mean not that I wanna go for it or anything, just as a subjective observation.
Sender: Robin Molenaar
To: Yeal Uzerli, Charlie Cox
Subject: re:re:Some more videos to help categorize specific species behavior
I understand that with a last name like yours, being led by one’s genitals is a natural instinct. Be that as it may, I would suggest not openly admitting to affection for Xenos species, lest your credentials be reviewed by some individuals of significant extra-legal influence.
Having said that: I do admit to finding some of them aesthetically pleasing. Humanity’s ability to find specific “human” characteristics in other species never ceases to amaze me.
- Robin Molenaar
Sender: Yeal Uzerli
To: Robin Molenaar, Charlie
Subject: re:re:re:Some more videos to help categorize specific species behavior
I have no idea what you mean. Attached are totally not some lewds by some very talented artists. I would never do that.
No Findolein r34.imgr
The goat and the baaahtiful.imgr
Totally not a modern goatse.imgr
Whatever floats your goat.imgr
Sender: Robin Molenaar
To: Yeal Uzerli , Charlie Cox , Sidney Houston
Subject: Addition to the team
This is a notification of a new member joining the team. Sidney is part of the Diplomatic Corp. Since we are moving into strategy formulation based on our research, most teams will be joined by a member of the DC.
Good to have you Sidney.
- Robin Molenaar
Sender: Charlie Cox
To: Yeal Uzerli , Sidney Houston , Robin Molenaar
Subject: re:Addition to the team
Sup Sid, good of you to hitch a ride on the crazy train. Never a dull moment!
So: emu or eagle?
Charles III, esq.
Sender: Yeal Uzerli
To: Charlie Cox, Sidney Houston, Robin Molenaar
Subject: re:re:Addition to the team
Nice to have you here. I was wondering how we we’re going to be formulating strategies with some people here apparently failing to outgrow puberty.
More importantly though: emu or eagle?
Sender: Sidney Houston
To: Yeal Uzerli, Charlie Cox, Robin Molenaar
Subject: re:re:Addition to the team
Hey all, thanks for having me. I’ll be working with you to formulate active social strategies to exploit the various vulnerabilities you’ve categorized. First off: fantastic work. Just knowing what the tells are makes all the difference in the world during negotiations. I’ll be looking forward to working with you. I’ve included a doc on general social strategies used by us during aggressive negotiations. I don’t expect you to memorize it or anything, just give it once over so you know what we’ll be working towards.
P.s. Kiwi actually. I’m pretty sure my parents were high on meth when they signed my birth certificate.
General strategies during hostile negotiations.txts
Treaty of Valhalla +16, 19:10,31 hours Standard Terran Time.
Upon entering the great auditorium, the first thing that struck Tatyana was its deliberate design. The description she’d read didn’t do it justice. A flat circular floor surrounded by concentric circles, increasing in height with each ring. Each circle had seats for delegates of various species, with specific sections tailored to fit any one species’ particular physiological needs. All envoys present would be looking down upon the poor delegation standing in that center circle, who were no doubt feeling very small and wishing they had in fact chosen the cold hard vacuum of space over this meeting.
So naturally, when Tatyana passed through the doors leading into the auditorium, she confidently strode into the exact middle of the room closely followed by Ibrahim. As they came into view every envoy present suddenly took a quick breath, which lead to sounds ranging from drowning puppies to cocaine rats to cement mixers turned up to eleven. The Xenos envoys tried to maintain proper decorum, but the collective tendency was to lean as far away from the creatures standing, mercifully, on the lowest level.
In this particular instance, rather than making the beings standing in the center feel small and insignificant, the room seemed designed to make the envoys sitting high up and far away feel just a bit safer.
Soon however, the Chitiiri and Karkat managed to organize a joint Xenos booing of the humans delegation.
The different delegations were seated as she’d been told, with the lone Haltheon directly on the opposite end of where Tatyana and Ibrahim entered, at twelve o’clock. At eleven o’clock sat the Chitiiri who had indeed packed their section to the brim, creating the feeling of a legion of sports hooligans if those sports hooligans resembled Skaven having joined the Adeptus Mechanicus. Ambassador Kch’atchak sat in the center of the first row, proudly flying the Chitiiri diplomatic flag.
Bless their hearts, they really are going all out.
The Karkat were seated at three o’clock, also packing quite a delegation but not as many as the Chitiiri. Or as rowdy for that matter. Ambassador Olloooleeal al Ollooooluuuel also sat in the center of the first row, also proudly flying their diplomatic colors.
I’ll almost feel bad crushing their spirits.
Tatyana spent a few moments observing the Marth delegation. They numbered just three and really did seem like they had preferred the airlock rather than this meeting. Looking at them, she felt really only pity. Although the war they started caused a lot of human casualties, these paled in comparison to what they’d suffered. She remembered various wars on earth, where armchair generals sent millions to their death in pointless conflicts.
At least this time, the ones responsible had gotten their just desserts. Now to make sure none of these other sniveling xenos bureaucrats try and do a repeat.
The rest of the delegations also sat in their assigned section, although most had brought no more than a few dozen delegates. The Thorians and Pleocykwa had, as predicted, not sent anyone. As they were standing at the center of the room a small translator sphere began silently hovering near Tatyana and Ibrahim. Tatyana tried to decipher some of what the Chitiiri and Karkat were shouting, but even the Haltheon’s vaunted translation sphere couldn’t deal with the cacophony of sounds filling the room. All she heard was cocaine rats screeching something about “integrity”, supported by the sounds of, what, beached whales with cement lungs? She looked around and found the source of this sound was the Karkat delegation. It sounded like someone rubbing two pieces of concrete together and adding a bunch of bass effects in post. Tatyana’s respect for the diplomatic corps doubled when she was forced to listen to it for a length of time. She wondered if not allowing her to hear this beforehand was some sort of Diplomatic Corp hazing.
As soon as the translator sphere had properly aligned itself with human envoys, the melodic voice of the Haltheon presiding over this meeting began to reverberate around the room:
“We are honored to once again preside over a meeting of equals, here in this great Federation. We would like take this moment to welcome the newest member of this league of species: Humanity.”
Various reactions ranging from quiet disapproval to outright disgust arose from the various Xenos envoys, with the exception of the Marth, who just seemed to want to disappear, and the Findolein, who just seemed rather amused by the whole affair.
“We, Haltheon, will be presiding over this inquiry, requested by the honorable envoys of the Karkat and Chitiiri. I will now give the floor to envoy Kch’athak, speaker on behalf of the Chitiiri Technocratic Union, who will explain their reasoning for requesting this inquiry. Speaker Kch’atchak also speaks on behalf of Envoy Olloooleeal al Ollooooluuuel of the Karkat.”
Envoy Kch’atchak rose to his paws and started speaking:
“It has been less than two Standard Federation Cycles since the nightmarish attack on Ak Garmarth, a horrifying act that still has our people terrified from its brutality. In the history of our Federation, no single species has ever dared commit and act of such a reprehensive nature. We therefore saw it as the first priority of the Federation to ensure the humans align with our customs and laws, the number one law being the immediate and open identification of their warrior class, be it societal caste or client race. To date they have refused any and all such requests! How are we expected to allow them to walk around when we can’t even tell is one of them is a warrior?”
Loud noises of support filled the auditorium. The Karkat were particularly noisy, no surprise since they co-funded this circus.
She acted suitably humbled by the words and sounds around her, all the while keeping a sharp eye on ambassador Kch’athak. She caught it immediately: the change in his breathing, the shift in posture.
Here we go. Go ahead. Drop your little firecracker.
“We would therefore, honorable envoys, like to use this inquiry to establish why exactly humanity has failed in its obligations to the Federation. If the humans once again fail to identify their warriors in the interest of public safety, or if their reasons for not complying sooner are unsatisfactory, The Chitiiri Technocratic Union and the honorable people of the Kartkat will put forward a motion to revoke humanities admission to the Federation, and to place them under strict military supervision by the combined forces of the Federation to safeguard the integrity and the continued existence of this great league of species.”
At this the auditorium erupted in a hurricane of sounds. Cries of support were thrown around again, once more dominated by the cement whales. The Marth for their part were shocked out of silent dread into full-blown panic mode. The Findolein shouted what Tatyana guessed was a flurry of racially motivated slurs at both the Chitiiri and Karkat, judging by the few snippets of words she could make out.
Shame, some new curse words would have been nice.
The noise was deafening and showed no signs of slowing down. Ambassador Kch’athak looked at Tatyana with what she assumed was the techno-rat version of smug condescension. But instead of the cowed and scared human he had expected, he saw something else entirely. There, in the center of this maelstrom of profanity being hurled around she stood. Smiling. A simple, genuine smile, aimed straight at Kch’athak.
He saw this strange creature, with it’s face flaps curled up and seemingly wholly relaxed. It felt like he was staring in the eyes of a great beast, ready to pounce and rip his throat out. He shivered as a thought crept up, along his spine, firmly lodging itself in his mind: had he just made a terrible mistake?
Tatyana caught his shiver and recognized that look in his eyes. She’d seen it a thousand times in her decades as a soldier. She slowly widened her smile, revealing her teeth.
Yes, little mouse, you did just make a mistake. It is bad.
And it is going to get.
Glory to Humanity.
Readiness condition: Defcon 6
Exercise term: FADE IN
Description: Increased readiness, indicating a possible, but as of yet unconfirmed, threat to the Terran Union. Defcon increase requires 50% support from Central Military Threat Assessment Committee (CeMTAC), Central Military Command (CMC) senior leadership as well as the United Terran Parliament (UTP).
Intermediate stage between peacetime mobilization and escalation to war economy. Conversion of governmental civilian to military vessels to start, in accordance with the assessments made by CemTAC.
Rapid Response Fleets (RRF) to be stationed at every major jump point connected to the region a hostile force is threatening. All military personnel currently assigned to military fleets are to maintain draft-readiness if so ordered. Systems where combat is occurring or expected to occur may draft soldiers as needed up to fleet capacity and request the resources to increase system redundancy across fleets and defensive installations, pending approval from CeMTAC.
Planetary defense installations are to maintain a 50% activation rate. Orbital defense installations are to maintain a 70% activation rate. For locations where combat is expected to occur these become 70% and 90% respectively, assuming adequate military infrastructure.
The following capital weapons are to be activated, pending unanimous support from CeMTAC, CMC senior leadership as well as the Military Ethics Board (MEB): Super heavy Carrier Groups (designated as HCV) and Dreadnoughts (designated DBB).
If hostile landings have occurred or are occurring, fallout shelters are to be opened and evacuation protocols are to be put in place. Planetary Defense Forces are to be activated on such planets. Suspension of civilian code of law in effect, to be replaced with the Conduct under Martial Law (CML).
- Excerpt from The Terran High Command Military Documents Collection
Redstone: Java vs. Bedrock investigation, unpredictable or misunderstood?
Hello! In this post I'd like to share my findings after investigating the differences between Java's redstone and Bedrock's redstone, after having been intrigued by many people saying Bedrock's is inconsistent. I wanted to find out whether it's actually inconsistent, or just misunderstood.submitted by fumeextractor to Minecraft
Here's the setup: I ran Minecraft Windows 10 Edition and Java Edition on the same PC. For both of them I have enabled Vertical Sync from the NVIDIA Control Panel so they'll have relatively the same framerate (60FPS). The Java edition has Optifine installed, nothing else, the Bedrock Edition is pure vanilla. Both are running on the latest releases, so v1.14.60 for Bedrock, and v1.15.2 for Java.
So, my first test was to see what does one tick look like in Bedrock, compared to Java. So I built a simple machine:
both pistons are sticky
Now, when powered off, where would the block go? Logically, it would go to the right. And it does, on Java at least. On Bedrock however, this same machine is inconsistent. So I created another test, to see how long is the delay given by a repeater on default setting in Bedrock.
I recorded it at 60FPS and played it back frame by frame. Here's what it looks like mid extension:
piston in the back has a default position repeater behind it
The pistons extended and retracted at the exact same time, started and finished on the exact same frame! So this to me seems like there the default position of the repeater is actually.. 0 ticks! A repeater in default position acts as a piece of redstone dust! Now this started popping ideas in my head, what if monostable circuits don't work and pistons are unable to spit out their blocks because there is no such thing as a 1 tick delay in Bedrock's redstone logics?
Following the pistons, I decided to also check out why do people feel they're slower. Recorded two clips of pistons extending, one in Java and one in Bedrock, I placed a sticky piston and a lever right next to it.
Here's how I counted this: the frame when the lever went (from off) to on is frame 0. I then counted for each Minecraft version how many frames it took from frame 0 for the piston to show a sign of extending, and then to fully extend. Here's what I found:
So now, let's try the repeaters alongside a lever and see the results. I made this setup in both versions, to also try to see whether a repeater set to 2 ticks in Java is the same as 2 ticks in Bedrock:
piston is sticky again
Now the visuals I got.. were a mess. I couldn't see whether the repeater activated at the same time or not in the two versions, here's why (yes, the pistons have already started extending):
I synced both vids to start at the previously mentioned frame 0, this is the same frame after the lever was flicked for both vids, this is frame 13
Here's where I can't quite make anything out of the data i got. Due to the difference in visuals, I went purely by how long it took for the piston to fully extend, starting from frame 0, but I included when the piston started extending just so you know:
I certainly think there are things genuinely inconsistent in Bedrock's redstone, I can't tell if they're bugs or they're meant to be like this, but I also think a lot of things are simply not well understood. I would love to hear your findings, or any input you may have on this, as well as answers to the questions I asked, maybe even from someone who's peeked into the code behind Bedrock.
I think these findings are very very interesting, I hope you do too. I know these tests are not at all perfect, but it's the best I could come up with to try and understand how is Bedrock's redstone different than Java's.
Thanks for reading and have a good day!