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My Personal Theory on the Bloons TD Timeline (The Sixth War, Part 10)
It had been around a month and a half since the Easter celebrations, and the monkey military had been hard at work. See, the deal that the military had struck with the Sixth Kingdom leaders had ended up giving the military a much greater budget. They decided that they would use this budget to improve the efficiency of their navy, which was the military branch that had benefited the least from the negotiations. The planes that were used by the Aircraft Carriers were equipped with new attacks, such as homing missiles and more powerful darts. The Monkey Subs received improvements across the board, including their twin guns being able to increase the speed of missiles and radiation, more efficient missiles that cost less and can be fired from longer ranges, and tons of benefits to the Sub Commander, one of the three sub pilots that had unlocked a Fifth Tier upgrade back before the Sixth War started.
In the midst of all of these improvements, one particular member of the navy by the name of Brickell had been training very hard. She had trained in the harshest of environments, such as deep valleys and sweltering deserts, and she had developed an attack style that no other member of the navy had yet seen, revolving around the deployment of aquatic mines that would concentrate on a single Bloon once one enters their range. However, Brickell would never train alone. She would always have her personal regiment of subs and boats with her, so she knew exactly what to do to motivate and increase the attack speed of her fellow navy members. Brickell quickly rose through the ranks, eventually becoming the admiral that was in charge of the entire navy, as well as the tenth Hero, and she would be an instrumental force in leading the navy to decisive victories in the seas.
Although the navy was the main focus of the military’s increased spending, it wasn’t the only focus. Notably, the Heli Pilots’ emergency comanche backups were given a new set of instructions on when and where to enter the battlefield, as well as newer model planes with increased flight speed. The three personal comanches of the Comanche Commander were told to ignore these commands and continue reporting directly to the commander. Striker Jones, rather than using the military budget to improve himself, used it to provide large improvements to the frags sent out from certain Bomb Shooters, while Churchill used his (much lower, because he mostly worked solo as opposed to Striker Jones’s integration with the military as a whole) cut to slightly improve the Mortar’s fire. Of course, the military wasn’t the only area of the monkey war machine that was improved during this month-and-a-half timespan. The Crossbow Master Dart Monkeys, who were the only Fifth Tier to have two practitioners instead of one, developed strategies that slightly differed from each other based on the crosspath upgrades they had taken. Using the same methods that Striker Jones had used to improve his Bombs, some of the most skilled Engineers at building sentries improved the size and speed of their “boom sentries”’s explosions. Lastly, with the amount of dead Bloons increasing constantly, the Necromancers decided it was time for a reorganizing, establishing their own independent summoning pools rather than all sharing a single pool.
The Bloons saw all these changes and improvements that the monkeys had made. So, desperate to not fall behind and lose the war, the Bloons began Phase Eighteen, and there were some actual plans for this one. Remember how the lower-level Bloon armies had thought up of five plans that the leaders reviewed, and ultimately they chose Operation Geared? Well, the leaders decided to have a second look at the other four plans they reviewed, and for Phase Eighteen they decided to take advantage of Operation Bazaar, which revolved around a Bloon invasion of a notable trading hub of the monkey kingdom, in an attempt to cut off commerce between the different parts of the kingdom and weaken the monkeys’ economy. The Bloons also invaded the Flooded Valley, one of the places where Admiral Brickell had spent much of her time training. There were two main advantages to invading the Flooded Valley: the dam there served as a convenient passageway to not one, but TWO monkey villages, and the Bloons also hoped to take control of and flood the dam, sending a great torrent of water into the monkey kingdom and ravaging it.
With the Bazaar now under threat from the Bloons, the Sixth Kingdom as a whole turned much more attention towards it. While examining what the Bazaar had to offer, the leaders of the Sixth Kingdom stumbled upon two books of Monkey Knowledge, kept closely guarded as “trade secrets”. One of these books contained information that allowed the Boomerang Throwers to become ambidextrous- but the book that the leaders actually cared about detailed a secret method of generating loads of money and Blops through depositing into the banks. With this method in place, the economy started to spiral out of control, creating the exact opposite effect as the one that the Bloons had intended when they invaded the place. On top of that, observing how the marketplaces of the Bazaar were run allowed the rest of the Sixth Kingdom to significantly improve the revenue of their own marketplaces. With the economy in such a spiraling state, however, the leaders of the Sixth Kingdom needed to make sure that nobody other than themselves could take too much advantage of it, so they began closer tracking of the status and abilities of all of the army generals and warriors that participated in the fight against the Bloons, forming profiles on each and every one.
Another month and a half or so passed, and while some more collection events did happen during this time, such as a second wave of totem enthusiasm and the now-annual fireworks celebration, these events are not that important to the history of the Sixth War, so I shall be glossing over them.
It is at this time that I must pause for a moment and mention a particular legend that, as you will soon see, has recently had a large effect on the Sixth Kingdom and the Sixth War. This legend, as we have since learned, is not entirely true, but it’s not entirely false either. The legend goes something like this: Back in the days of the fifth war, there was a hero known as Modysseus. Modysseus was once a normal monkey, living in peace on an island known as Lotus Island. However, the Sun God saw potential in him, so he sent an avatar of his to tell Modysseus to set out on a great journey. Modysseus did as he was fated, built a great ship, and set out on this journey, traveling through the whole of the Fifth Kingdom, fighting and popping hordes and hordes of Bloons along the way. As he ventured farther from his home, Modysseus and his crew faced horrible monsters, such as blimps made out of what we would call “food” who saw Modysseus and his crew as their snacks rather than the other way around, and invisible sharks that struck fast and with great power. As he continued on his journey, Modysseus’s crew members befell terrible fates, one by one, and his crew dwindled. Many times he consider stopping, but the sun god kept reassuring him that he would survive the journey and be hailed as a hero. By the last leg, Modysseus was alone, all his crew having been eaten, drowned, or killed in some other way. With naught but his own iron will and the support of the gods, Modysseus was left to face the most terrifying monster of all. This thing was like a huge, hollow, purple blimp, with the roar of a thousand Bloons and the power of a thousand more. It was a grueling battle, but in the end, Modysseus emerged victorious. The blimp burst into many, many valuable and colorful treasures as if it was a piñata, and the treasures the monster’s death provided proved to be a valuable tool in turning the tide of the Fifth War. Modysseus returned as a hero to the entire kingdom, and he lived the rest of his life in peace once more.
This legend had been circulating around the Sixth Kingdom since its formation, as the legend was one of the few things that the monkey city tribes that ultimately formed the Sixth Kingdom shared. But why am I only mentioning it now? Well, around a month and a half after Phase Eighteen and the Bazaar reforms, one monkey was inspired enough by this legend to attempt a similar feat. He found and selected a crew of just sixteen monkeys, comprised of just five different monkey divisions. Looking for a blessing from the gods in the same way that Modysseus had in the legend, this monkey attempted to convince Adora to join his crew. Adora ultimately begrudgingly accepted, on the condition that this monkey include her temple in his journey. So, the monkey and his crew set out, starting on the same island that Modysseus started from in the legend, going through Adora’s temple and the chutes that led through and away from the temple, past a shipwreck just off the coast, and finally to a rocky peninsula. All of these locations except the first were already battlegrounds of the Sixth War, so the monkey and his crew had to face many, many Bloons on their journey. The monkey was indeed successful in finding treasure: hidden on the peninsula was a stash of fifty of the trophies that the Bloons awarded to the monkeys for doing well in their races.
News of this journey spread across the Sixth Kingdom, and soon a nationwide phenomenon was born. Monkeys would team up and form crews, and set out on Bloon-popping adventures through multiple battlegrounds in search of stashes of race trophies. Just like with the totems, the leaders of the Sixth Kingdom looked to get their hands on these trophies without actually going on the dangerous journeys- but this time, they also didn’t want to spend much money on them either, so they didn’t hire sailors to collect trophies for them. Instead, they set up a special market, where racers and journeymen alike could spend their hard-earned trophies on various rewards, such as special messages for Co-Op Defenses, special pictures for their general profiles, and more! Some of the Heroes got special benefits from this system- Benjamin, Quincy, and Churchill bought into the system in such a way that they were given special entrance announcement flairs for any army general who had the flairs and was being aided by that particular Hero. Something similar happened with Adora, who gave the trophies she got directly to the Sun God, asking to learn the truth about the legend of Modysseus. The Sun God told Adora that truth, and he also gave Adora a special sunbeam entrance ability as a reward for her trophy sacrifice. Some army generals chose to give their trophies directly to the leaders, in exchange for having their names and the names of their army members recorded in a special purple book the leaders kept and displayed in the center of the kingdom.
Quincy, having finally begun to recover from his injury from that DDT, began to discard some of his cybernetic parts in exchange for the now healing natural ones, with his appearance reverting back towards his original self. And now that he was finally returning to normal, Quincy’s repeated wishes to the spirits of Haunted were finally heard. The spirit of Quincy’s father returned to the world for a little while, finally giving him and his son some bonding time, and Quincy’s father was able to aid his son in the fight against the Bloons. In other news, we’ve recently learned that Gwendolyn has a firefox as a pet. She’s kept this under wraps for some time now. I don’t know how this happened, but somehow Gwendolyn’s firefox managed to calm her down a bit, snapping her out of her psycho phase and returning her to her normal level of insanity. Dr. Monkey was overjoyed at this, although he wisely decided to NOT try and bring her back into science. Obyn Greenfoot, still in his Ocean Guardian form, felt that his powers with the land were now the powers that were weakening. So, he decided to create a fourth “sub-leader” of nature (the first three are, as you’d expect, the three Fifth Tier Druids), with this one being the new leader of the oceans, so that Obyn could return to his land form. This ocean leader was crafted by Obyn and based around Striker Jones. It came to be known as “Octojones”, and, once completed, Obyn brought Octojones to life, allowing him to “become the sea”, and allowing Obyn to return to the land. Also, Benjamin, under his DJ Benjammin identity, held a pretty cool party with his new entrance flairs. He wrote four music remixes for this party, which he later released onto the trophy market.
The Bloons saw all the sudden hype generated around these “Odysseys”, and they figured they’d take advantage of them. The Odysseys were very dangerous- for every crew that made it to their destination and found a treasure trove of trophies, there were several crews that crashed or sunk on their journey and didn’t make it out alive. The Bloons, of course, wanted as many monkeys out of the way as possible, so they decided that for Phase Nineteen, they’d feed into the hype further, thus encouraging more monkeys to embark on Odysseys, which would result in more monkey casualties. The Bloons added Lotus Island to the list of invasion spots, and they also decided to use their trophies (which they have most of, since they control the races) to feed into the Trophy Market, repainting some of the blimps in their armies to look like the monsters from the legend and allowing certain monkeys exclusive access to fighting against those blimps, in exchange for some of their precious Odyssey-earned trophies... they also added some designs of their own, putting googly eyes and confetti on and inside a few Bloon regiments for those monkeys that had powerful senses of humor, and they also tried to create a big scare by disguising some of their MOABs as blue versions of the MOAB Mauler Bomb Shooters.
There were some other changes during this time as well. The bank depositing knowledge book worked well in the limited size of the Bazaar, but by this time, the attempt that the leaders had made to implement it into the rest of the kingdom had done massive damage to the economy. The leaders were still unwilling to ditch the practice entirely, since they still wanted that money. However, pressure from the Sixth Kingdom citizens forced the leaders to scale back the power of bank deposits a bit, implementing a system of processing delays to all deposits. The Comanche backups of the Heli Pilots had their funding cut somewhat, as a survey of helicopter usage showed that they were being paid way too much for how little they were being used. The Arcane Spike wizards found that their bodies were adjusting slightly to their powerful magic, forcing them to absorb some extra Blops to activate said magic. Dr. Monkey created some special exploding boomerangs, but he didn’t have the resources to spread them to all the Boomerang Throwers. It was decided that the boomerangs would go to the MOAB Domination Boomerang Thrower, the fifth tier Boomerang Thrower who was judged to need the power boost the most. The Monkey Subs had to reduce their missile power and consumption, as the navy could not continue to fund the missile they had been using for the past month and a half. Finally, Pat Fusty had been fighting in the Sixth War for some time by this point. He had fought through a timespan when he was supposed to be in hibernation at least once (we don’t know his exact hibernation cycle), and this extended awakening was finally beginning to take a toll on his voice. There were some more changes, but I can’t mention everything...
As you can see, the legend of Modysseus has had a great effect on the Sixth Kingdom. But what REALLY happened back then? As we historians have now found out, what the Odyssey really was back in the Fifth Kingdom is quite similar to the modern Odyssey of the Sixth Kingdom. Aspiring sailors/generals would sail across multiple maps, facing Bloons on the way and ultimately being rewarded with Monkey Money. As far as we know, the story of Modysseus never actually happened- and for that matter, it doesn’t appear that the Fifth Kingdom Odysseys had limited crews either. Whatever the case may be, our research on this legend and its truth and effects is not yet complete.
That’s it for the timeline for now! If you’re here from the very first part, then thank you for reading through all twenty parts. If you’re just seeing this part for the first time, then here’s the first part if you want to check out the whole thing. For more theory stuff, go check out btdlore, but keep in mind that that sub is pretty much dead nowadays.
Which card art can you not stand to look at?
For me it’s [[Alseid of Life’s Bounty]]. Up close, I know it’s a centaur, but on the battlefield it looks like an eldritch worm man emerging from the loam to usher forth the end times.
EDIT: I've been informed that Alseid is NOT a centaur. But I still find the way he's arching his back to be incredibly unsettling! At another glance, I'm realizing that the darkened wheat in the foreground kind of looks like a scorpion's tail (again, this is when I'm viewing the thumbnail on the board, not when I'm looking at the card up close). It reminds me of driders from DnD.
EDIT 2: I finally figured it out. THIS is what it looks like to me (possibly NSFW).